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There are many things about the NICU that are very unique to that situation and experience. As a NICU parent, it’s not always easy to see the more light-hearted side of things. So here is a little NICU humor for you!
You Might be a NICU Parent if…
- You pause awkwardly when someone asks how old your baby is before going into a 10-minute explanation to what should be an easy question.
- BPD, NEC, IUGR, IVH, CPAP, and PDA are more than just alphabet soup
- You’ve had a panic attack in the grocery store or Target when you hear a telltale beep
- You can rattle off your baby’s sats and stats like it’s nobody’s business
- Juggling a diaper bag, oxygen tank, apnea monitor, and your purse can all be done while unfolding the stroller with one hand
- You’ve experienced “full-term envy”
- You get unreasonably excited about fat rolls and double chins!
- You compare your baby’s birth weight and length to food items on a regular basis (for us it was 5 sticks of butter and a 20 oz. Pepsi!)
- You’ve purchased a chest freezer just to store breast milk
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You regret not buying stock in a hand sanitizer company
- There’s an immediate bond with strangers when you hear any mention of prematurity or a NICU stay
- You don’t think of a jumping animal from Australia when you hear the word “kangaroo”
- You’re well-versed in how to increase calories in food for your little one
- The Ultimate Mama (or Papa!) Bear makes an appearance on a regular basis!
- You are well aware of the reality of three steps forward, two steps back
- The honeymoon period is something more to you than just a vacation taken after you get married
- You use medical equipment around your house for alternate uses (I’m looking at you, 60-cc-syringe-turned-bathtub-toy!)
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You’re able to think in grams and milliliters
- “Wireless” means something different than connecting to the internet without a cord
- You’ve experienced hibernation and isolation, and you’re neither a bear nor an inmate
- You check to see if your child is still breathing while he sleeps…well into the teenage years
- A 7-pounder looks gigantic!
- You take being a germophobe to a whole new level
- You’ve slept on hospital benches, chairs, and floors, and not given it a second thought
- Your baby was weeks old before you got to hold her
- You weigh your child in pounds and ounces well into the toddler years, and possibly into elementary school
- Your hands have been raw to the point of bleeding from washing them so much
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You are able to distinguish between all the beeps and alarms
- Your first reaction to your phone ringing while you’re away from the hospital is fear
- You’re amazed at how naturally the medical staff can take care of such tiny, fragile babies
- You have a greater appreciation for simple things like a hot cup of coffee, a shower, a comfortable chair, or a home-cooked meal
- Your child’s care team has become part of your family
- Circling a parking ramp looking for a spot doesn’t make you dizzy anymore
- You’re on a first-name basis with everyone at the hospital, custodial staff included
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You are stronger than you ever imagined, tougher than you’ve ever been, and a different person walking out of the NICU than you were when you walked in. You’re a NICU Parent!